XiaolinMama

Doctor Mom

One of my best friends graduated with her PhD in Education this weekend.  She is one of those brilliant women, whom you know will make a huge difference in the world. Not only does she run a extremely important non-profit that helps young people of color begin careers in medicine, but she managed to volunteer and go to school at night.  Yes, she was busy and I didn't get to see her as often as I would have liked, but damn I am SO proud of her and all that she has accomplished. This weekend we threw a big party for her.  Music, great food and plenty of friends.  It was a good day.

As I headed home exhausted, I began to to think about how quickly time flies.  Was it really 4 years ago that she called telling me she was going to do this.   She even encouraged me to apply too - something I would have loved to do, but didn't, well couldn't.    It was about the same time that I told her I was pregnant again.  Hmmm.. graduate school, pregnant, full time job and 3 year old at home - even I am not THAT crazy.  I don't have any regrets - but I fully admit to having a tiny bit of envy.  For a selfish moment, I thought wow, J got a PhD and I haven't done anything.  No one is going to call me Dr.  I am such a loser!

Defining accomplishment is a moving target.   Success on spectacular days is birthing a healthy baby or launching a new business.  Most days accomplishment is getting to the office in time for a meeting without any food stains on my suit, figuring out how to get my son to soccer practice and daughter to dance class at the same time and keeping a sense of humor and perspective.   These days I have had more space in my head, more time to take care of me and more time to imagine what is possible. 

I know it is lame to wonder what if - but I wouldn't be normal if I didn't, er, right?  Yes, I don't have a PhD, but I AM called Mama - sometimes xiaolinmama and in honor of my friend J - you can also call me  Dr. Mom because surviving the last four years is a tremendous accomplishment, if I say so myself.  Shoot, I better throw myself a party!  Tequila anyone?   

Women20.jpg

Have spent the day at the Women 2.0 conference. As a mompreneur, it has been inspiring. Certainly reminds me to work harder. More later.

MOMocrats: Dreams of a mother

This weekend the brilliant women at Momocrats are posting up stories of motherhood - dreams we have for our children and the dreams our moms have had for us...  Put your story in the comments. We'd love to have you be part of the conversation. 

My story will be coming soon - that is after Mom's Night out!!

Operation Bathing Suit Ready: Week 6

I did it - joined Weight Watchers online.  (Thanks to Melissa!) For a week, I looked at the box of yummy WW muffins and chocolate snacks and felt guilty about not signing up.  But I did it finally and I am sure I will be stoked.  They suggest that a reasonable goal should be 10% of your body weightm - yup that is 17 pounds.  Geeez, doesn't that sound like alot?  That's what happens when you eat brownies in bed.

The exercising has been off and on lately - that whole work thing has a way of gettin' in the way - ugh!  (Excuse #112)  My Uber personal trainer Danielle, introduced Russian Kettle bells to the routine.  Yes, they ARE as awful as they sound.  But they promise big results.  According to Pavel, the kettle bell master, "Kettlebells melt fat without the dishonor of dieting or aerobics. " 

What is that you say, without the "dishonor or dieting" hell yeah I'm in!  What I won't have to try to embarrass myself trying to keep up with the "coordinated folks"?  The results so far - I am freakin' SORE!!   and I want a brownie:) 

Bathing Suit catalogs keep appearing in my mailbox - is this supposed to be insprirational? or a cruel joke??? 

Dear Maria Shriver:

Dear Maria,

I was one of the 50 SV Mom bloggers who you met with the other night at the Books Inc. in Palo Alto, when you kindly shared about your life and a few selections from what you called your "presidential library".   

Bloggers more talented than I have chronicled what we all talked about, your jokes, yours memories and the way you were able to relate to us all and put us at ease.  I shouldn't have been surprised by this - you are a mother after all.  It is what we do, isn't it?

I left our gathering thinking about your book, Just who will you be?.  My children are getting older and I have been working hard to redefine myself - mother, wife, sister, daughter and entrepreneur. Is it really possible to do it all?  Do I have the courage to do only part of it for a while?  Oh, how I wish I did have courage when my babies were younger.  Oh how naive I was to think that I HAD to work to maintain a sense of me.  I was afraid to lose myself; but somehow seemed to lose myself in the hustle of it all.  I also left thinking about my mentors, my mother and girl friends, those who helped me get through it all without killing anyone. I left grateful.

Today I had the opportunity to have lunch with a former colleague of mine.  She was contemplating scrapping her good paying job and heading off to get an MBA or go for a another maybe dead end job.  I realized that in this case I was the mentor. I was the one who could help this talented woman figure out what to do next.  I found myself asking her, "Well just who will you be?  Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?".  I left grateful that I could repay the favor.

It was a fun night.   You were certainly a highlight, but it was a chance to catch up with girl friends to do something completely selfish like actually listening to a speaker that isn't Shrek or Scooby Doo. It was a chance to catch my breath.  This gathering was something I looked forward to all week.  Thank you for reminding me about the constant struggle to remember that everyday can be a fresh start and that I can decide who I will be. More over, thank you for reminding me that as a mother and aunt, friend and mentor that we have the responsibility to ask the same question of those closest to us.

With much admiration,
Sheila (aka xiaolinmama)

MOMocrats - Barack Obama answered OUR questions!

There are times in your life when you KNOW unequivocably that you are part of something amazing -something that will change the course of your life, something that will change your world.  As of late for me that amazing experience has been being part of the illustrious women of the MOMocrats.   We are a group of 22 women who are committed to getting a Democrat in the White House in 2008. 

Politics has always intrigued me.  I've volunteered for phone banks, done precinct walks, gone door to door for candidates and have helped create outreach strategies on the local level, but I have never ever been part of such a powerful group of do-ers.  You know the type of women, who just make things happen.  The kind of women who squeeze keeping candidates honest in between carpool, before/after work, ballet class, in between client meetings, making dinner and baseball games.  These women are serious. Together we know a lot about the issues and together we have pieced together a network that would astound most.

I admit, there are moments that I feel I don't have anything brilliant to add to the conversation.  I soak it all in, learning as much as I can from my new friends and mentors about foreign policy, the war in Iraq and alleged power mongers. They have given me the gift of a real political education - one where we teach each other the value of our individual opinions, can agree to disagree and we leverage our "Big girl voices" to make our opinions known.  I am more confident and even more clear, that any democratic candidate has got to work for my vote. I am voting for the one who will assure me that that he/she has some real solutions and will be sincere in making the table bigger.

This past week has been a whirlwind. Last month, we collected the questions from Momocrat readers and contributors that we wished ABC would have asked at the debate.  We sent them to the Obama campaign and voila Barack responded to five of our questions!  Yes, BARACK OBAMA responded directly to our questions - and they were not, "What is your favorite ice cream flavor or Please give us your best parenting tip."  They were real policy questions about real issues - the ones we wished our country were focused on.  Go to the Momocrats site to check it all out. You'll be impressed, I assure you!  Read his answers, ask more questions. Be part of a movement of mothers/parents who are asking our candidates (and all us) to DO more and BE more.   

Maria Shriver

At a private screening with the brilliant Maria Shriver. Wow! Greatest gift to kids- let them know they are perfect the way they are. Her books written to create dialogue.

Coupa Palo Alto

Mamas Night Out - SVMB style

What do four Silicon Valley Mom Blog Contributors talk about when they get together live and in person?  Blogging, of course!  Oh that and new businesses, loving sports, our children, our husbands, our single days, purse obsessions and dreams/nightmares of vacations at Disneyland and Hawaii.  Whether we should Twitter too? and how we manage to keep it together - or not!   

Tonight Janet (Go GO Mama), Robyn (Who's the Boss) and Nicole (Not Just a Working Mom) and I had the rare chance to meet up in San Jose's Santana Row. We met at Roux and were introduced to a new drink - Champange in a Can.  Yes, I know I don't get out often and am certainly not that cool - but what has this world come to??  At $10.00 a can, I was sure that Cristal was not worried about the competition.

We also had a great Greek meal and oohed and aahed over the flaming cheese. Lighting anything up with a shot of brandy and then dousing it with lemon-even a hunk of greek cheese- is always a good idea. And it sure was!   Letting our hair down, shopping without kids asking "Is it time to go home yet?" and breaking bread with melted flaming cheese and hummus with girl friends was well worth missing Grey's Anatomy!

Annuale

As I am feelin' a bit hormonal today, this video seemed apropos!   Courtesy of my pals at Daily Take and SNL.  Tina Fey is hilarious!